Be a leader.But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV Bible For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:23-24 In his commentary on his new book on biblical marriage, Dr. Peters points out that the Most High .. Places the ultimate responsibility on the shoulders of husband… in being the Priest, the leader, the provider, the spiritual head of the family… being the Head. The Head doesn’t mean to exert alpha male-ism, where he can misuse, beat, torment, treat her as a sex slave… but to nurture her and lead her and the family to the Most High. Men who are leaders get their instructions from the Most High. They take over, control, guide, and get things done. The Feminist movement and Slavery robbed Men of their place in the home while exerting women above the Man but with the Most High’s design for marriage we will overcome. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to the Most High and him. When husbands, particularly israelite husbands, do not treat their wives as a precious gift from the Most High and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside the Most High’s will.
Love your wifeHusbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having a spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this, the cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:25-31 One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly. Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. Serve your wife. The Savior, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that, he poureth water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. John 13: 4-5
When is the last time you washed her feet, brought her a gift, meet some of her needs. What troubles her daily, the fears she may have, and her pressures? Have you washed her with the water of the word? You must fill her cup, she fills the little ones daily. Our love for her is conveyed through action.1. Be a leader (Priest of your home) initiate the leadership responsibility. This role was never intended for women to do. 2. Be a provider (Foot all financial responsibilities of the family) 3. A self-controlled man (Disciplined in the Bible) 4. Be a servant ( a man after the Most High own heart) 5. Teach your wife to be right with the heavenly father. To follow his standards and not the world’s standards. Glamour is for magazine covers not for everyday life. 6. Be an influencer to your family the way the creator meant it to be. Providing for your wife and family also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in the Bible and looking for ways to encourage her spiritually. A bone of my Bone and Flesh of my Flesh To be a frontrunner, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you—your wife. Give up your life for hers and, at the judgment seat of Christ, He will say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
My Q & A with Dr. Peters, a married man of 30 yearsQ: What is your secret to longevity in married? Dr. Peters: Keeping the Most High first, secondly loving my wife as Christ loves the Church. Not letting anyone come against my wife not even our children. My wife is a gift from the Most High. Q: What advice would you give to a man thinking about entering into marriage? Dr. Peters: About 20 years ago, a man came into my office for marriage counseling, at that time, he blessed me by saying, “God created the family before he created the Church. The needs of my family come before anything, other than the Most High God. I never forgot what he said there, and later I would discover that what he was saying was a Biblical concept. A man must be the Most High first with the execution of the commandments, teach his family, and love his wife. Q: Give a wisdom pearl to share? Dr. Peters: I will tell a man never to compliment a woman higher than you would your wife, treat her as she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Q: Do you think a woman should work? Dr. Peters: That is really not what the Most High God intended from the beginning, our children need to be taught, she can stay home, I will provide. So my answer is HER place is in our home. Q: What makes a Godly (Most High) husband? Dr. Peters:
1. Self Disciplined Man-the ability to control your own behavior, especially in terms of reactions and impulses And the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15
2. Provider -A woman should always be better than when she marries a man. Her needs and the children needs should be met in every way. The scriptures clearly say that a man is supposed to be the chief in terms of finance for his family. A woman is there to assist him with the house and the children. But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8 In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. Proverbs 14:23 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and they want as an armed man? Proverbs 6:6-11
3. CommunicatorLikewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Pray for her and read the bible to her. Listen to her problems and be by her side.
4. Selfless“He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.” Proverbs 29:1 Think of her feelings and put her needs before yours. 5. Protector …giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Lay your life down for her, let no one hurt her, or speak ill of her in your presence. Give all due respect and make others around you adapt that behavior.
6. Independent Man“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Making your wife only second to Christ, most importantly, on this order the Most High, the Savior, then your wife, then children. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (KJV) The Bible shows us by the “leave and cleaves” concept of marriage that as husbands once we are married our parents now come second to our wife. So when all things are equal, while our wife comes second to God – she is to be our first priority amongst our family members and anyone but the Most High himself. But I want you to notice a key phrase I use here “when all things are equal”. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” – Ephesians 5:25 & 28-29 (KJV) Our children come after our wives but before other family members and priorities Remember the passage from I Timothy 5:4-8 where the Apostle Paul tells us that the first way we put our religion into practice is in our home? The needs of our children come only after our service to the Most High and then the needs of our wife. But the needs our children come before other priorities. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.” – Proverbs 13:22 (KJV) “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” – Proverbs 20:7 (KJV) “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they are discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21 (KJV) “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4 (KJV) “As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,” – I Thessalonians 2:11 (KJV) As fathers, we have a responsibility to care for the physical and spiritual needs of our children. In the same way that marriage is to be a model of the relationship between God and his people, so too the father/child relationship is yet another model of the relationship between our heavenly father and us as his children. We as fathers are not to discourage our children or needlessly anger them, but rather we are to bless them, exhort them, comfort them, discipline them, teach them in the ways of God and love them as God loves his children.